Let me start this post by saying outright that I don't have all the answers. I also don't proclaim myself the be all and end all of truth. I speak my truth and my experience, if it doesn't fit right with you, that's perfectly fine, you don't have to accept what I say. :) I respect whatever views someone has so long as they don't try and make me believe if I have a differing opinion as I would never try and force someone to believe what I say if they have a differing opinion.
Today lets start from the very basics of working with a practitioner...
The world of people offering spirits has grown immensely in the past few years. And I will say outright that there are a lot of fakes, a lot of people who don't yet have the experience and skillset to be offering spirits to other people, and a handful of exceptionally good and wonderful newcomers who do amazing work.
Every practitioner, like every person, is different. They all have different energy, different methods of work and different strengths and weaknesses. No one person is going to be the very best at everything. If you ask me what I feel my strengths and weaknesses are in work I'd be happy to list them for you like this: Strengths:
In terms of spirits themselves: Unique Astral Entities, Were-Creatures, Elves/Fae (Especially Unseelie).
In terms of personal work and what I offer others: Companionable easy to get along with spirits, “Soul Food” beings that aim to help and heal, Simple and straight forward work with beings that are easy to bond with. Weaknesses:
In terms of spirit themselves: Straight up Dragons (better with Dragon Shifters), heavy dark arts beings, “Creatures” (full animal type beings).
In terms of personal work and what I offer others: “Heavy Hitters” in terms of offensive protection, revenge and retribution, “In your face” style energy, “Power” seeking and attaining.
I have no problem putting it out there that I am also terrible at scrying and I second guess my work with tarot cards and past life ALL THE TIME even though I've been doing both for years and have never had a bad result.
No one is perfect. And no one should be....
Practitioners often fall into a trap of thinking they need to present themselves as highly skilled and attuned, able to do everything, and have an elaborate backstory as to why they can and do bind spirits for others, proclaiming years and years of experience before offering to the public.
Be careful of that. It's easy to make things up, it's easy to fall for the trap of lots of pretty words. It's easy to fall for something when you really WANT to believe it as well.
The TRUTH is what's important, and you need to know that the amount of time someone has or has not been offering their work to the public matters a hell of a lot less than how much they're willing to be honest about what they do.
You don't need a seller to tell you how they do their bindings or how they learned to do it. But you do need a seller that's going to offer some insight into how they got to where they are, honestly. To be honest about how long they've been doing this. To offer places to go and read reviews about them if they have them, or be honest that they're just starting out and have none.
There is no right or wrong answer because everyone is going to think certain things are more important than others. A practitioner should not try and please everyone. A practitioner should not be ABLE to please everyone. ;) Because we're all strong and weak and have our own personal limitations. Vessel reading... Here's a service that should be discouraged. A service banned on some of the biggest and longest standing forums, and with good reason. Why? Because every practitioner works differently, and any practitioner that knows what they're doing is going to add layers of protection to their work so that others can't pry into it. You have to know HOW the binding was done in order to bypass the “security” built into it. So unless you're the practitioner themselves, you're not going to get an accurate reading. This was absolute standard understanding and information when I started. Somehow, as the world got more saturated, it became less and less understood. My work is protected. With good reason.
I know it can seem attractive to ask someone for more information about a spirit. To get a close look at them and maybe tell you some things you didn't know before. But this also opens to a whole rash of issues dependent on the practitioner involved...
Some protection work by other practitioners is laced with a REALLY violent blow back. If you try and pry into their work you get hit in the face with intensely negative energy. Horrible feelings. Headaches. Even nausea. Some protection work can 'project' a false image of the spirit bound to the vessel in order to put someone off track.
This has nothing to do with the spirit themselves but is the work involved to protect it. But if you don't know that then how can it be interpreted by the practitioner reading? They could tell you your spirit is horrible and hate filled and not at all what the original practitioner sold you. Without realizing they weren't communicating with the spirit at all. They might decide that anger and lashing out is actually because 'they don't like you and are unhappy with you' and tell you your spirit wants to leave you. Which, understandably, can be absolutely traumatizing to hear and is not true.
All another practitioner can see of someone's work is what they want someone else to see. It DOESN'T MATTER how long someone has been working with spirits and selling them. It DOESN'T MATTER what abilities they have and how “strong” they are. It DOESN'T MATTER what personal spirits are in their keep. They will only see what the original practitioner wants them to see. Period.
Lets talk now about 'recalling' spirits...
Humans tend to project their own emotions onto everything. Spirits included. Often if we feel we've been 'neglecting' or spirit companions or not spending enough time with them or focusing too much on others we start to feel like our spirits are unhappy and would be better with someone else. It doesn't work like that...
You have to understand first what a spirit IS and what a spirit ISN'T. (Note: this is SPIRITS, not ENTITIES, different things altogether)
A spirit is a being that has died. You are interacting with their spirit, their 'ghost' for lack of a better term. You are dealing with a being that has passed on, and in passing, has the entire universe and beyond of knowledge, wisdom and understanding at their disposal. They have literal eternity stretched in front of them and time passes very differently in the spirit realm.
Understand as well that a vessel is not where a spirit 'lives'. Your vessel is like a direct line telephone to your spirit, they are free to move between whatever realm they so choose, ready to be by your side in half an eye blink if you need them.
An entire human lifetime is like a few days to a spirit. So even if you feel as though going months or years or decades without talking to your spirits likely makes them angry, it's not the same at all to them.
You cannot, I repeat, CANNOT 'neglect' a spirit.
Also you cannot 'force' a spirit, a GHOST, don't forget, to do anything in the corporeal world. They are made up of energy. They can't do human things... Their keeper cannot force them into 'bad situations' they don't want to be in.
Not only is time different but having passed on, they don't have the same breadth of emotion we do. They're highly evolved beings now, they aren't tied to the narrow breadth of human emotion anymore. Anger and sadness are not feelings they have as strongly anymore. Not in the same way. The experience anger and sadness, but not in the reactionary way humans do. Most often a spirit will be sad or angry because you are, but it's a tempered emotion, one that they acknowledge and process and feel differently than we do. Love, happiness, compassion and general joy are more prominent feelings in the spirit world.
Your spirit will understand your sadness and anger. Your spirit will also be upset if they see you being mistreated or hurt by others. But they cannot be blinded by those emotions. Their response to such things is how to make it better...
So you can cry and scream and hurl insults at your spirits from dawn till dusk. They'll be concerned that you're unhappy, but all their focus will be is how to make it better. How to help you, how to aid you. Not think you're a horrible person they don't want to be with anymore.
To me there is only one reason a spirit should be recalled from a keeper once they have found a home: The keeper asks for them to be removed.
If someone comes to me wanting to have a spirit recalled I do ask why. Often they think they're neglecting their spirit and are not good as a keeper and I can talk to them about it. But whatever they decide in the end is their choice. Sometimes people no longer want to be on this path, sometimes they change their mind about what types of spirits they want to work with. All are valid reasons and should be honoured if the person really wants their spirit recalled.
It is not the practioners place to judge whether they feel someone is a fit keeper or not. Or is doing what they 'should be' for the spirit. Or is suited to this lifestyle. Or any other number of things...
Once a spirit is with a keeper, it is no longer part of the practitioners journey. That spirit does not BELONG to the practitioner. The keeper should not be 'watched over' for any sign of 'neglect' or 'making them do things they don't want to do'. You can't MAKE a spirit do anything.
Once you have a spirit in your keep, it's where it belongs. Practitioners are a means to an end. We get the spirits to their keepers, where they're supposed to be. We help people on their journey, giving advice, offering our opinions and trying as best we can to bolster your morale as you walk this path, but it is NOT our place to ever ever EVER judge whether or not you deserve said spirit.
Once a spirit has left me to be with their keeper, I say goodbye. I always enjoy the time I spend with them and there's always a little part of my heart that goes with them. But they weren't mine in any way shape or form. Ever. They have always belonged to their keepers, they just needed me to get there. Keepers need to be more aware of what is and isn't to be expected in this world. This world is one of FREEDOM. It's about YOU, YOUR PATH and what YOU want to do. A keeper should never feel burdened to live up to some set of expectations. You should not have to feel obliged to fit into things a certain way in order to be a 'good keeper'.
Good keepers are vigilant, open minded, carefree and uninhibited. They keep detailed notes about their spirits and always have their vessels organized and put away in the same places. They are dedicated to their path all day every day.
Good keepers are ALSO lazy and stressed out a lot of the time, they never have their notes in order and drive their practitioners nuts by asking for information again because they can't find it. They are dedicated to their path COMPLETELY for a month and then lapse off for awhile. They forget that they HAVE certain spirits and then run around with the vessel of the forgotten spirit apologizing like crazy (while the spirit likely giggles).
You can be whatever type of keeper you want to be. And you deserve a practitioner that is kind, respectful, knowledgeable and JUST as imperfect and amazing as you are. <3