Bullying & Judgment

“Bullying” is a word that has been getting a lot of press in recent years. It’s something that’s gone on for as long as anyone can remember, but we’re now at a point in history where it’s something that people are tackling head on. Something that people are saying “this is NOT okay” about. And everyone is absolutely right. Bullying is not okay. Judging others is not okay. It’s something that happens all the time, something that damages people, hinders their lives, can impact them in such massive and irreversible ways...

So many people in our Spirit Keeping community have been victims of bullying and judgment. They find this path and see refuge. See help, see like minded people and sellers who can offer beings who enrich their lives. They don’t come into this community and this path thinking that it’s just another place to get bullied, and yet it’s happening. Not only is it happening, but it’s increasing. Keepers bullying other keepers. Sellers bullying keepers. And it’s NOT okay.

I’ve been so angry the past eight or nine months. So angry about the things I’ve seen, and yet so reluctant to speak up because -I- was afraid of what would be said about me. I’m still afraid, you know? I’m still afraid that by speaking up and talking about the things I have been here in the blog that I'm going to become a target. That's how widespread the bullying is... People don't even feel comfortable speaking against it for fear of it coming back on them. But I’ve decided I just don’t care anymore. The anger I feel is bigger than the fear...

Keepers. You have every right to follow your path exactly the way you want to. You have every right to have as many or as few spirits in your keep as you like and talk to and interact with them as frequently or infrequently as you want, and in whatever way you want to. Everyone needs to remember that the spirits find YOU. THEY are the ones that know what they’re doing. THEY are the higher beings that know your path, know you inside and out, know where and when you’ll need them. Anyone who honestly thinks that in long run YOU are calling the shots on how many spirits join you on your journey clearly doesn’t really know how this path works.

Keepers, you are the ones with all the power in this community, do you know that? Sellers like me would have no place at all if it wasn’t for the Keepers who come to us. You are the ones with the power, and yet you surrender it to sellers all the time.

Now... I’m not saying you all should turn into a bunch of demanding ego maniacs. ;) You’re the most important and fundamental part of this community, but remember that sellers are still people. We still have bad days, we still sometimes get behind in our work. There will be times where a seller has to say no to a Keeper for a lot of different reasons. We are all human, we are all in this together. But Keepers? Know your worth. But also, know that personal boundaries still apply between Keepers and Sellers. Mutual respect...

Keepers.... You should feel cared for and happy with the sellers you deal with. They shouldn’t judge you, they shouldn’t make decisions for you, and they should never get involved in your path or anyone else's path aside from their own. They certainly shouldn’t be involved with the spirits in your keep after they are with you. ESPECIALLY if they are not all spirits that you have bought from them. Sellers should not meddle with your path, they shouldn’t pass around information to other sellers to prevent you purchasing from others because of decisions THEY have made about you unless you’re truly harming, disrespecting, or potentially damaging to other sellers or other Keepers. They shouldn't discuss some keepers with other keepers either. Sellers should remember that we’re not the top rung of the ladder here, the spirits are. The spirits make the choices, the spirits should be the ones to decide what they want to do. And sellers should also remember that spirits are spirits. They cannot be mistreated, they cannot be abused, they cannot be neglected or unloved. Projecting human emotions and the limits of human interaction onto spirits is something that is really easy to do, but it’s not real. Spirits KNOW exactly what they’re getting into when they come to us to find keepers. They already KNOW what path they’re taking, what journey they’re going on, who they will be partnered with. We sellers are just middle men, we really are. We’re an important part of this world, we offer a valuable service, but sellers should never make choices for spirits. We don’t have the knowledge they do. We don’t even compare to their wisdom. We don’t have any business trying to control them and their fate. Spirits know their fate... Far more clearly than we as humans ever could. We should also never make decisions for keepers. We don’t know their path, we don’t know them, not intimately. We have no business deciding for them on anything. Preventing them from anything. Making them feel like less than they are, turning them away because of gossip and rumors. That’s cruel. That’s humiliating to the Keeper. It’s entirely and completely uncalled for and so incredibly against everything this path is supposed to be.

There are situations in which a seller may not do business with a Keeper as this is still business and has to be conducted that way at times-

If you’re harassing your seller, they don’t have to sell to you.

If you’re pressuring a seller, pushing them, asking for things that they’ve either said they can’t/won’t do or simply don’t want to (they have a right to not want to do something), the seller has no obligation to continue working with you as a client.

If you’re harassing others in any way, spreading gossip, starting rumours, creating drama and being a generally nasty person, a seller has no obligation to sell to you.

If you threaten the sellers business in any way, be it through chargebacks in paypal, holding back on giving good feedback until they give you something else you want, threatening to leave bad feedback unless a seller gives you something you want (that’s blackmail)... a seller has no obligation to sell to you.

If you promise to pay for something and don’t, especially if it’s consistent, the seller has no obligation to continue trying to sell to you.

If you and the seller simply don’t mesh as two human beings and can’t see eye to eye on things... the seller has no obligation to sell to you. (But the seller also has no right to go to others and spread gossip about you)

There used to be a clear and basic etiquette in this world between Keepers and sellers that is simply disappearing. It has to stop. The judgement, the nastiness, the lying and back room discussion about others. It has to stop. Do you know the impact you can have on someone? Do you know what you could drive someone to do because of your words and actions? Would you want someone to judge you the way others are being judged in this community? And not just a few people here and there, this is wide spread. It needs to be stopped.

But also just as important... Keepers? Don’t judge other Keepers. You don’t know what someone else has faced in their life. You don’t know the reason they’re on the path. You don’t know THEIR PATH which is entirely theirs and has nothing to do with you. If you think someone is being silly, if you think someone has “too many” spirits or “too few” spirits then stop right there. They’re different than you, not wrong. No one’s path is ever wrong. Because it’s theirs... If there’s a Keeper who’s methods and practices bother you, or they just rub you the wrong way, you just don’t have to engage with them. No one is forced to engage with others, you don’t HAVE to interact with them. Ignore their posts. Block them. Do whatever you have to do. But don’t judge. Don’t ‘call them out’ because what does that serve? Humiliation. Sadness. Guilt. Alienation. Remember that the person you disagree with might also might disagree with you and your path, it goes both ways. The only person who should be judging their path, their spirit family, or anything to do with this world is each individual person about THEMSELVES.

As always I want to say I am not the be all and end all of information and knowledge here. I speak from my experiences and my truth. But so does anyone, right? I do want to say that if this blog post makes you angry, if you’re scoffing at what I’m saying, if you’re personally offended by it then you need to take a look at yourself and ask why. Because I’m speaking up for the numerous victims here. I’m speaking up for the people who don't feel safe speaking up for themselves. I’m speaking for those who have had assumptions made about them when no one really knows them.

Sellers, all of us, we have a duty to those who buy from us. We all hold some power within us that directs the community. But it’s the keepers, the ones who buy from us, the customers who TRUST us that really matter. Be authentic to this world and remember what it truly is.

Keepers, those you see around you are peers. You won’t get along with all of them, you won’t necessarily believe the path they are on is the right one, but those around you ALL have their own paths just as you have yours. Don’t judge someone who does things differently from you. Don’t mock or point fingers at someone who isn’t ‘on the same level’ as you, because none of us are EVER on the same level. All our levels are different, and no one is the same. That’s what makes this community great.

So... If this post makes you angry, if this post offends you, think about why that is. And ask yourself some tough questions.